At Home Mums' Blog

Take a light hearted look at the issues faced by mums home with the kids. Read some personal views on the challenges of raising children today, and the pressures mums face. My website - www.athomemums.com - has some more serious and hopefully useful stuff on all these topics. I'd love to get your comments and advice. If anyone out there can help this mum maintain her sanity, it would be much appreciated!

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Sunday 1 March 2009

Boobs

'Daddy's boobies are bigger than yours mummy', my daughter announced this morning, as we lay in bed watching daddy get dressed after his shower.

Yes, right, thank you very much. Ok, so she's kind of right. The other half works out up top, and would claim it's all pure muscle. I work out (sometimes) in the hope that a bit of muscle might add some extra definition to my non existent boobies.

'And Daddy's got a big willy', pipes up the younger one. Well dad's pleased with that, but it's all relative in a two year old's mind! Michael tried on his first pair of undies the other day (Wiggles undies, of course), he had a bit of a grope down there and his conclusion was, 'Too little'. Whether he was referring to the undies or their contents, who knows, but I guess it must feel strange after being squashed in a nappy for two and a half years.

But back to the boobies. I have never been well endowed, sadly, and having children has not helped. I hoped for boobs as a teenager, but finally gave up at about the age of 21 and started searching for the perfect push up, fully padded bra instead.

Thank goodness I don't have to go through those new boyfriend moments again, where we're lying have a grope in the dark and he's missed my boobs and is busy mauling my rib cage..

I always thought that getting pregnant would be my only hope for boobs, and I was right. On and off for four years or so, there was a marked improvement in size. I wouldn't go as far as to say I gained a cleavage, but I was quite happy with them (as was the other half) and I actually experienced the sensation of bouncing as you run, for the first time.

About day 3 post labour was the most amazing. The milk came in, and there I was with rock solid, rounded boobs never to be seen again. Ok, so they hurt like hell, leaked a lot and required cold compresses, but I really should have taken a photo. Hey Holly, mummy had boobies too once...

It's a shame that at that stage you don't get to dress up and go out of an evening, and even if you did, you'd need breast pads to stop the leaks and 'suck-you-in-knickers' to try and hold the baby gut in place.

Last time I went back to the UK, I stocked up on my Marks and Spencer's underwear (as you do if you're a Brit in Oz) and invested in a pair of jelly boobs to enhance the look.

They work quite well. Nothing drastic, they just help fill the bras I already have. But bring them back to an Australian summer and they have been reserved for those very special nights out when I want to look my best. (We haven't had one yet, as going out for a quick pizza with the other half doesn't count...) Hot, sweaty, slimy jelly boobs in a thick padded bra does nothing for comfort levels, and, since kids, I have definitely moved away from style towards comfort, so actually they're stuck in the drawer along with the sexy underwear that never gets a look in. (Quick, the kids are asleep, we're got five minutes...)

Get home of a summer's day and the bra comes off. I have perfected the technique of removing it through a sleeve so I don't even have to get undressed. One advantage of small boobs - no support required. They can breath for a moment. Let's hope no-one drops by....

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1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been trying to convince myself for a while that M&S's AA cups have got bigger... it can't be me getting smaller can it?!
Lx.

10 March 2009 at 5:08 am  

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