Possum Magic

'Be brave mummy', my 4 year old says.

'I will Holly', I declare, sounding confident, as I peer into the pool filter basket. I have just stuck my hand in the water to clean out the basket and been attacked by a large rat. Slight exaggeration, but there's something in there and I really don't want to have to deal with it.

I think about the options. Why don't I ask the kids if they'd mind not going for a swim. Something else is using the pool, and it doesn't want to share. No... they're not going to buy it.

Ring the other half, get him to come home from work to deal with it. No, not an option. Ask a neighbour, dial a friend? No, come on mummy, be brave. I will just have to bite the bullet and remove the rat. As it turns out, on closer inspection, it's a bandicoot, and for some reason they are far cuter and more manageable than a rat.

Thank goodness, as the children are watching in fascination (from the other side of the pool fence, of course) as mummy tries to convince a poor soggy bandicoot to move out into open water so I can scoop it out with the net. I bring it round for closer inspection and we decide to release it in the back yard under the tree. The moment it's free, a gang of minor birds swoop on it, squawking loudly and the traumatised creature gets another fright and scuttles away under the shed.

I know we're supposed to respect the native wildlife, but sometimes it gets too much. We had a possum living in our roof recently, and one day I was in the kitchen getting lunch, when I heard a scrabbling from one of the cupboards. My immediate reaction was that the kids had shut the cat in the cupboard again. (I try to get them to treat her nicely, honestly, but sometimes the cat just asks for it - a combination of curiosity, love, blind faith in us, and not many brains). Anyway, this was a brief thought, because today's scrabbling was coming from the cupboard above the fridge where I keep all my cleaning stuff and nasty sprays for getting rid of unwanted creatures, and it's definitely supposed to be inaccessible to kids and cats. I went over to take a look, and there, sat on top of our fridge was a large brush tailed possum. It had come down a gap behind the cupboard and was now quite calmly trying to scramble back up my nicely painted wall. It stayed long enough for me to prove to the rest of the family that, yes, there was a live possum on the fridge, not Holly's soft toy, and then it finally made it back up into the roof. It has since been seen in the same location again, and twice, diving out of a hole in the roof in the middle of the day. This is one insomniac possum. Having heard horror stories of possum pee leaking through the ceiling and all sorts of other nasties, we have fixed the roof (while the possum was out) and put up a possum box in a nearby tree. We now hope he relocates permanently.

Did I mention I'm a squealer? I didn't realise it myself, until I came to Australia. We don't get as many creepy crawlies and creatures living in the house back home, and taken by surprise by one one these, I am prone to squeal like a girl and jump a mile.

I took it too far one day, when, without contact lenses in, I was having a shower, and something black ran across the bath. I squealed, caused the other half to come running to the rescue, only to find the plug had rolled off the side of the bath and landed at my feet. Those squashy lizards the kids have can cause a similar reaction if trodden on in bare feet...

Since having kids, I have had to be braver, call upon my inner resources, and learn to deal with these things. I am the one who removes spiders, gets rid of cockroaches, disposes of the dead bunny that the cat brought in, and tries to be calm and sensible about it, so as not to make the children afraid. But occasionally they just get the better of me.

A large huntsman spider was running round the outside of the car when I dropped Michael at Occasional Care. It caused a slight increase in heart rate, but was outside so I could deal with it. But, as I tried to swipe it off the car, it reared up on its hind legs and ran inside the boot. Now I had a huntsman in the car. The logical brain said it wasn't going to harm me, but the squealing instinct whilst driving is highly likely to cause an accident. I explained my predicament to the Occasional Care teacher, and she tried to convince me not to worry, but I know my limits and this one had to go. I lingered after drop off, had a coffee, avoided the issue, but soon realised that if I ever wanted to use the car again, I had to do something. I bought a can of insect spray and sprayed the inside of the car, went and did some shopping and drove home with the windows down.

I think I'm sending a confusing message to the kids. You must be kind to animals and respect them; they live here too, if you aren't kind, they'll learn not to be kind either, and could hurt you. Do not chase the cat, pull its tail, lift it up by the legs, squash it round the tummy, or in any other way torture it. But, you can stamp on ants, spray cockroaches, let the cat get the bunny (actually the kids didn't see that one...).

Holly went through a phase of being scared of ants, which I think originated from an episode of Dora where the giant ants try and get Boots (and I thought it was all educational...). I have tried explaining that they are tiny compared with us, and are probably more frightened of us; that they will not do her any harm and that the little ones don't bite (which I've since found is untrue). But none of it helped, so we have resorted to a stamp on ants policy.

I have to say I don't enjoy the native or non native wildlife in my house, or in my pool, but they do have their benefits. We had Japanese students staying with us recently, and as it got dark, we got the torches out and went on a possum hunt. We only had to walk down the driveway to see a ringtail up a tree, and back in the garden the bandicoots were out and about. The students were fascinated, and the children loved it. The other half is thinking of selling tours for Japanese tourists. After all, they have never seen these creatures before. We could even throw in a couple of redbacks living under the house and show them a tick or two.

(We're going on a Possum Hunt, we're going to find a big one, we're not scared, what a beautiful night... Yeeeeek!)